It's still their day.... so celebrate!!

Birthdays are undeniably challenging during times of grief. We often feel as if we are back at the beginning. As the month of their birthday approaches, we prepare ourselves emotionally. It's a day filled with thoughts of the future they won't be here to experience.

For Gage's 18th birthday, the first without him, I placed balloons on his memorial stone. I invited everyone to visit, wish him a happy birthday, and write a message on a balloon. Family and friends could choose to release the balloon, take it with them, or leave it. I did the same for his 19th birthday and asked family and friends to celebrate Gage by watching his favorite movie, eating his favorite meal, or doing something they once enjoyed with him. This year, for his 20th, I again placed balloons. I wanted to do something meaningful, so I enlisted a wonderful home baker to help me gift a child with their dream birthday cake in Gage's honor. I reached out to the community to find a child turning 17 or younger on May 31st, or within three days before or after, living in our town. This was my way of celebrating my son. He loved birthday cakes. When the young man saw his cake, I knew I had done something meaningful, and Gage would be so proud.

I can't imagine ever letting a birthday pass without celebrating Gage. I am celebrating the day we were blessed with such a wonderful son.

He deserves to be celebrated, even when he can no longer blow out the candles.

Celebrating their birthdays should not be seen as shameful or incorrect. We are honoring a life that still holds great significance for us. While it will certainly bring sorrow and pain, what day doesn't?